Dancing Fools 2
by Persiana13
Summary: Sequel to Dancing Fools! In this installment, a certain insane author subjects the Avengers to a dancing Competition. Another Dancing With the Stars Parody! The Hilarity, the brawls, and the pain are all back!
1. Chapter 1

**Dancing Fools 2**

_Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to DC or Marvel. I own Farrah/Persiana, Leon/Crisis, and Lance/Diablos._

Chapter 1: It All Begins Again!

Captain America asked,

"Now, why are we here again?"

Iron Man shrugged,

"Beats me. He hasn't really used us all that much. I mean, Steve, you're dead in the story, and Tigra, Sentry, Miss Marvel, Ares, and Wonder Man are in that DC universe."

The author entered with Farrah,

**Hi, guys. **

Miss Marvel groaned,

"Please tell me this isn't another one of your parodies on Dancing with the Stars, is it?"

Farrah nodded,

"Got it in one, Barbie. Which; is surprising, considering it takes about four or five tries for you to get it right."

Miss Marvel scowled,

"What does Lance see in you? I mean, with Leon, I can understand that. But, Lance? What is it with you and him, anyway?"

Farrah seductively moved her tail,

"I can't help it if I'm irresistible."

Hawkeye said,

"Hey, Farrah. How's things?"

Farrah shrugged,

"Fine. Just putting up with the insanity my boss puts everyone else through."

**That's right. By now, you probably know about the little project I did with the Justice League some time ago.**

Miss Marvel grumbled,

"I didn't forget. Farrah threw a bucket of pig's blood on me!"

Hawkeye grinned,

"Not to mention the cat-fights."

Yellow Jacket said,

"So, you want us to do another Dancing with the Stars Parody, involving us, right?"

**And they say blondes are the dumb ones.**

Wasp asked,

"Are you always so mean to everyone?"  
**Truth hurts, Lady Bug. Now, here's how this is gonna go down. As usual, Farrah and I are going to host this new season of my reality show; Dancing Fools: Avengers Edition!**

Wasp raised hand,

"Isn't ABC going to sue you for something like this?"

**No, I stuck Lex with it. He's the one in litigation. I swear, he was easier to trick than Catman.**

Firebird raised her hand,

"Who is Catman?"

Farrah answered,

"Love struck villain in the DC world I torture on a regular basis."

Catman, outside, was shouting through a megaphone,

"Goddess! Come be with me!"

Farrah looked over to the author,

"Do you mind if I take care of something while you go down the list of couples?"

**Sure. Can you at least tape what you're going to do to him this time?**

Farrah carried a camera,

"I will."

She left.

**All right, now to go down the list of couples. First up, Hawkeye and Black Widow.**

Black Widow nodded,

"Excellent."

**Next up-**

Farrah screamed off camera,

"CATMAN! QUIT FOLLOWING ME AROUND!"

The sounds of a chain saw could be heard. Catman yelled off camera,

"Goddess, wait! I only wish for us to have kittens!"

Farrah roared,

"DIE! I'M GONNA CHOP YOU INTO TINY, BITE SIZED BITS FOR THIS, CATMAN!"

**Hey, do you think if Farrah kills Catman, she can claim it was justifiable homicide?**

She-Hulk asked,

"What did he do to deserve Farrah's wrath?"

**Have you been reading any of my works?**

Hawkeye said dryly,

"No, we have a life."

He got shot with a bean bag,

"OW!"

**Let's go further down the list. **

Farrah returned at that moment, 

**Hank Pym, you and Firebird are being paired up. **

Wasp said,

"Excuse me, he's my husband."

She got hit with a fly swatter,

"OW! Farrah!"

Farrah innocently remarked,

"Why, Janet? Whatever are you talking about?"  
**In case you didn't know, Lady bug, you died in the mainstream Marvel universe. Sucks to be you, don't it?**

Wasp asked,

"Well, will I at least get paired up with someone?"

**Yeah, Iron Man.**

Iron Man smirked,

"This brings back memories."

**Yeah, weren't you two sleeping with each other when Bumblebee over there was in the big house?**

Yellow Jacket got angry,

"Don't remind me."

**Wasn't she carrying his child?**

Janet was horrified,

"What?"

**Just a rumor I heard, that's all. Yeah, a rumor. **

The author shifted his eyes. Farrah rolled her eyes,

"Let's keep going. Scarlet Witch, you're dancing with Vision."

Scarlet Witch said,

"Big surprise there."

**Wonder Man, you're dancing with-.**

Supergirl entered,

"Me!"

Vixen entered,

"No, me!"

Gypsy entered,

"Wrong, ladies. Simon's dancing with me!"

Zatanna appeared in a puff of smoke,

"It's gonna be me, ladies."

Supergirl yelled,

"Not on your life, bitch!"

She tackled Zatanna, a cat-fight erupting. Hawkeye grinned,

"Holy crap! Look at them go!"

Captain America shook his head,

"This is definitely not civilized behavior."

**All right, break it up, all of you. **

The author fired a shotgun in the air and there was instant silence.

**Now that we have order around here, Simon, you're dancing with…Miss Marvel. **

Vixen was shocked,

"What? Her?"  
Supergirl asked,

"What did she do to deserve this?"  
**She's sleeping with him in the mainstream Marvel Universe. Here's an issue of Miss Marvel. **

The author handed over the issue. Zatanna gasped,

"How dare she take my man away like that!"

The four turned to Miss Marvel. Miss Marvel groaned,

"I hate you, Persiana13."

She got tackled, all four women in love with Simon going to claw at Miss Marvel.

**And women say men have a hard time controlling their hormones. **

A chandelier fell on the women, knocking them all out.

**Huh, I was wondering when that was going to happen.**

Farrah said,

"Let's continue, shall we? Sersi, you're getting paired up with someone I know you'll like."

Sersi asked,

"Is it your boyfriend Lance?"  
Farrah shrieked,

"TOUCH HIM AND YOU DIE!"

She calmed down,

"No, he's coming in now."

Superman entered,

"Persiana13, did you want to talk to me?"

Immediately, he got tackled by Sersi,

"What?"  
Sersi had hearts in her eyes and floating around her head,

"Hello, handsome! Let's party!"

**Farrah, I know you suggested that one, but was it really necessary to have Superman back after what happened the last time?  
**Farrah smirked,

"Oh, come on. I told Lois her husband was called away on a business trip. Don't worry, she won't watch the show."

**Yeah, I have to remember to keep the cameras on this time. Finally, our last couple for this competition is-.**

Hippolyta entered with Donna and Diana,

"Persiana13! I want a word with you!"

**Oh, great. It's the bitch queen of the Amazons again. You still haven't forgiven me for what I did to Donna, have you?**

Donna rolled her eyes,

"I told my mother that what Roy did was an essential part of the dance. I gave him my permission to place his hands there."

Hippolyta glared,

"I want you to know that I do not tolerate any sort of behavior like I saw with the dances with my daughters. They had better not be a part of something like that again."

**Hippie, you don't have to worry. They aren't involved in this competition. However…you are. **

Hippolyta was surprised,

"What? Since when?"

**Since now. You and Captain America are the final couple. **

Hawkeye grinned,

"Nice knowin' ya, Steve."

Cap shook his head,

"Well, if it's all right with the lady…"

Hippolyta turned and gazed at sight of Cap. Little hearts floated all around her,

"I WANT YOUR BABIES!"  
Diana was stunned,

"Mother!"

She saw Hippolyta chase after Cap. Cap screamed,

"Help! Keep her away from me!"

He ran off camera. Hippolyta was in hot pursuit,

"Come back here, Adonis! I wish for you to partake in what I have to offer to you!"  
She went off camera. Donna smiled,

"It looks like Mother has finally found a man in her life again, and it is not Hercules."  
Hercules asked,

"What's wrong with me?"  
The author counted on his fingers,

**Let's see; you drink, you break things when you're drunk, you get your ass kicked by Thor, the Hulk, the Thing…**

Thor laughed,

"All true."

Hercules clenched his fists,

"DIE, THOR!"

A brawl broke out.

**Great, another mess to clean up. Well, while we clean that up, we'll meet our judges in the next exciting chapter of Dancing Fools 2: Dance of Doom!**

Yellow Jacket asked,

"People are actually reading this?"  
He got hit with a fly swatter,

"OW! Farrah!"

Next Chapter:

Meet the Judges, and more brawling!


	2. Chapter 2

**Dancing Fools 2**

_Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to DC or Marvel. I Own Farrah/Persiana and Lance/Diablos. Dancing with the Stars is owned by ABC!_

Chapter 2: Judges, Brawls, and more Brawls.

Thor swung his hammer,

"Taste my hammer, puny one!"

Hercules swung his mace,

"Me, puny? Look who's talking, Goldilocks!"

The brawl continued.

**Ok, this has got to stop. If they keep fighting like this, my show will be ruined.**

Yellow Jacket asked,

"Didn't you ruin it the first time when you did your parody?"

He got hit with a fly swatter,

"Ow! Farrah!"

Farrah grinned,

"Now, let's see if we can restore order around here."

She cleared her throat, and then roared like a lion. Everything stopped,

"Better."

**I am so glad I am not her boyfriend right now, ladies and gentlemen. Now, that we have order, let's introduce our judges!**

Miss Marvel rolled her eyes,

"It's all villains, right?"

**Our first judge is…LOKI!**

Loki turned around in her chair,

"Greetings, stupid mortals."

Thor yelled,

"I protest! My accursed-."

He blinked, noticing Loki is a woman,

"What happened?"

**I think Loki got a sex change after Asgard was recreated. Although, this could all be a trick to have us think it is a woman when it really could be a man.**

Loki said,

"I'll prove I am a woman."

She took her top off, Avengers were stunned. Hawkeye was stunned,

"Those look real!"

Hercules exclaimed,

"Thor, your sister is hot!"

Iron Man, his tongue hanging out, drooled,

"Giggidy-giggidy-giggidy-giggidy-giggidy-giggidy-giggidy-giggidy-giggidy-giggidy-giggidy-giggidy-giggidy…"

Wasp rolled her eyes,

"Definitely plastic surgery."

Loki sniped,

"You're just jealous I can stuff my face and not gain weight, unlike you. You probably need a crowbar to squeeze your fat ass into your own costume."

Wasp shouted,

"DIE!"  
She tackled Loki, a catfight erupting.

**You know, I just thought of something. I should definitely tape these catfights, and see if the WWE will give 'em a contract.**

Farrah laughed,

"Wow, Janet can really deliver a submission hold."

The author got a camera,

**Oh, this is so going to Vince. I can see it now; heroes wrestling villains! I'd make a fortune!**

Farrah shook her head,

"Let's continue to the second judge."

**You're right. Our second judge is…Henry Gyrich!**

Gyrich turned around, bound and gagged to chair,

"MMAMAMAHAAAFFFAAAMMM!"  
**What's that, Henry? I can't understand you with that gag in your mouth.  
**Gyrich yelled louder and still gagged,

"MAFFHAHAMMAHAMAHMAM!"

Farrah was in shock,

"How dare you! I am a woman!"  
She swung mallet, hitting Gyrich in the head. Gyrich had little images of Quin-jets float around head and a large lump appeared on his head. Farrah giggled,

"That's better."

Hawkeye asked,

"Hey, do you think I could have that mallet when you're done?"

**I'll think about it. Our third judge for this evening…Dr. Doom!**

Doom was bound to chair,

"Release me this instant, Persiana13! I am Doom! I will not be denied!"  
Hawkeye grinned,

"It looks like Persiana13 is denying him the bathroom."

He broke out into laughter. Yellow Jacket said,

"If only Reed could see this now."

**Hey, Doom. You know that whole Gray-Green thing has been out of style since disco, right?**

Farrah smiled,

"I have just the thing to freshen him up."

She pulled out pink paint and dumped can on Doom. Doom was furious,

"Farrah! You will suffer at my hands when this is over!"

He looked down,

"What are you doing?"

Farrah held a paint brush,

"Adding a few kittens, some flowers…ooh! We have to put a rainbow!"  
She painted a rainbow all over Doom's mask. The Avengers burst into laughter. Doom yelled,

"No! I am Doom! I will get you for this, Reed Richards! You have cost me-!"

He got hit with a mallet and was knocked out. Farrah smiled,

"That's better. Gives me more time to work on my canvas."

Diablos shook his head,

"My girlfriend has completely lost it. I have no idea how Leon put up with you."

Leon said off camera,

"Denial helps. The occasional head-butting the wall works too."

Diablos groaned,

"For once, can't my girlfriend be normal? Is that too much to ask?"

Miss Marvel said,

"With Farrah, it is."

Farrah shouted,

"Up yours, Barbie!"  
She flipped off Miss Marvel.

**Save if for backstage, ladies. Let's get this show on the road!**

Next Chapter:

Let the dancing insanity begin!


	3. Chapter 3

**Dancing Fools 2**

_Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to DC or Marvel. I own Farrah/Persiana and Lance/Diablos. Dancing with the Stars belongs to ABC. This is a parody!_

Chapter 3: Ballet Breaker!

**One Week Later, in the Audience…**

Diablos said,

"Here we go again. Loki is flirting with Superman, Gyrich is having a nervous breakdown, being tied to the chair, and Doom looks like he should be in a kiddie parade. And, to top it all off, Persiana13 and Farrah have decided to host a sequel to Dancing Fools. They torture the Avengers. How did you put up with her?"

She-Hulk said,

"We had lots of alcohol on hand."

Falcon added,

"We paid the villains to keep taking her away."

Tigra shook her head,

"I seriously don't know what your guys' problem is with my little sister."

Everyone turned to Tigra. She looked up,

"Hey, don't give me that look."

Diablos groaned,

"Greer, your sister tries to peak on me in the shower, after she chases me around for a few hours. I'm lucky I can teleport; otherwise, I'd have to leave Earth."

Tigra shook her head,

"Not a good idea. Farrah definitely wants to make babies with you. You can't run from that."

Diablos sighed,

"You're probably right."

Theme music from Dancing with the Stars is played. Persiana13 entered in expensive tuxedo; Farrah entered in scandalous red dress and high heels, even more revealing than the first one.

**Hello, and welcome to Dancing Fools: Avengers Edition! **

Farrah smiled,

"Tonight, we're going to showcase the dancing talents of several Avengers members."

**Talent, yeah, that's a laugh. Anyway, let's meet the judges. First up, no, there is nothing wrong with your television set. Loki is a woman.**

Loki said,

"And if you mortals do not believe me, I can prove it to you."

She started to unzip her top.

**Hey, we don't need THAT type of publicity. **

The author paused,

**Loki, how do you feel about doing a spread in Playboy with Diana?**

Wonder Woman yelled from the audience,

"Not on your life!"

Loki pouted,

"Loser."

**Fine, our next judge in…Henry Gyrich!  
**Gyrich yelled,

"PERSIANA13! LET ME OUT THIS INSTANT! YOU OUGHTTA BE LOCKED UP IN A LOONY BIN, YOU CRAZY NUT!"

**So should my readers. **

The author looked into the camera,

**Just kidding, everyone. I really appreciate the support you guys give.**

Yellow Jacket grumbled off camera,

"Trust us, he needs it."

He got hit with bean bag,

"OW!"

**Shut up, Bumblebee. Now, for our third judge…**

The author turned and laughed,  
**Geez, Doom. What happened to you?**

Doom, his armor colored pink and green polka dots, roared,

"I DEMAND YOU RELEASE ME THIS INSTANT! I AM DOOM! I WILL NOT BE SUBJECTED TO THIS HUMILIATION!"

**I have to call those guys that do Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. Doom would be perfect. **

Farrah grinned,

"Who knows, they might turn that big castle of his into a sweet, serene Zen garden."

Doom was horrified,

"NO! NOT THAT! HOW WILL I PLOT TO RULE THE WORLD IF I AM CONSTANTLY IN ZEN? NNNNNOOOOOOO!"

**Well, let's get to our first couple of the evening, although I could keep torturing Doom.**

Human Torch said off camera,

"Please do. Hey, Sue, you taping this?"

Invisible Woman nodded,

"Yep!"

**Anyway, our first couple for the evening is a real treat to all you fans out there.**

Gyrich was stunned,

"That nut has fans?"

He got hit with a mallet,

"OW! Stupid house cat!"

He got hit with mallet again,

"OW!"

**Our first couple for the evening is Hawkeye and Black Widow. Now, this season, I decided to do something a bit different and add more dance styles to the mix. Tonight, Hawkeye and Black Widow will be doing a ballet dance.**

Black Widow entered in black skin tight ballet clothes,

"Clint, let's go."  
Hawkeye grumbled off camera,

"I'm not coming out, Natasha."

Black Widow shook her head,

"Come on, it's not that bad."  
Hawkeye said off camera,

"Yes, it is. What was Farrah thinking when she designed this? It looks like she was on one of her cat-nip highs."

Farrah shifted her eyes nervously,

"That's silly, Clint. I'd never do something like that."

Black Widow had her arms crossed,

"Clinton Francis Burton, get your ballet-dancing ass on stage now."

Hawkeye entered, dressed in purple tights and mask,

"I look like a freakin' grape Popsicle."  
The audience burst into laughter. Tigra called out,

"Hey, Clint. You look good enough to eat!"

She-Hulk grinned,

"Nat, make sure to get a few good licks in, will ya?"

Diablos covered his eyes,

"It's official. My girlfriend is insane."

Miss Marvel said off camera,

"You're finding this out now?"

As Hawkeye and Black Widow did ballet, Hawkeye threw Black Widow into the air and got on one knee to catch her. However, he was a little off, and Natasha ended up falling on her back, on top of Hawkeye's knee. The audience winced. Farrah winced,

"Oh, that has to hurt."

Hawkeye screamed,

"My knee! That hurt!"

Black Widow screamed,

"My back! That did not happen during rehearsal!"

Loki laughed,

"Mortals are so funny. A nine!"

Gyrich grumbled,

"These guys suck. A five."

Doom commented,

"Adequate performance. A seven."

Farrah said,

"A total of 21 points to start the competition."

Black Widow stood up,

"What do you mean I suck? I'd like to see you do that, Gyrich!"

She whipped out a pistol and started shooting. Gyrich screamed and ran,

"Help! Crazy Russian spy after me! Help!"

He ran off stage, Black Widow in hot pursuit. The author blinked

**O-K.**

The sounds of an explosion could be heard backstage. The author said,

**I've heard of an explosive start to the show, but this is ridiculous. Well, anyway, when we return, we're going to have Yellow Jacket and Firebird up next doing the Ramba. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to get Gyrich back here so he can do the rest of the show. I just have to find that fifty thousand volt taser. I know I keep it around here somewhere.**

Next Chapter:

You guessed it; more dancing antics!


	4. Chapter 4

**Dancing Fools 2**

_Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to DC or Marvel. I own Farrah/Persiana and Lance/Diablos. Dancing with the Stars is owned by ABC! _

Chapter 4: Flaming Hearts!

**And, we're back. **

Firemen ran by, carrying fire extinguishers. The author reassured everyone,

**Don't worry, ladies and gentlemen, the studio is NOT on fire. **

Gyrich was smoldering,

"I wish it was."

He got hit with a bean bag,

"OW! That does it! When my superiors find out what you've done, you'll-!"

An apple got stuffed in his mouth. Farrah shook her head,

"I couldn't stand to hear a grown man bitch."

Loki said,

"If I may…"

She waved her hand over Gyrich, instantly, Gyrich turned into a pig man. Audience was laughing. The author smirked,

**Not bad, not bad at all, Loki. Now, let's get to this next couple. **

Farrah grinned,

"Hey, let's get some grass skirts and have a luau."

**Maybe after the show. Anyway, our next couple tonight is one that I had to bring back from the past. I mean, I don't know what Yellow Jacket was thinking when he did this, but, folks, I gotta tell ya; if you're willing to dump a woman like Tigra for a woman like Firebird, you definitely have something wrong with you. **

Firebird entered in scandalous yellow dress,

"What's wrong with Henry? He's a nice man."

**Bonnie, not to disappoint you or anything, but the guy's a loser. He created Ultron…**

Wasp said off camera,

"He's hit me a few times."

Tigra called out in audience,

"He built a killer robot during his Avengers trial and tried to kill us…"

Yellow Jacket entered in tux with yellow tie,

"That was an accident."

Farrah growled,

"You built a killer Thor clone that murdered my boyfriend."

Yellow Jacket yelled,

"That was Tony's idea!"

Jarvis said from the audience,

"What about the time you were arrested for treason and espionage?"  
Yellow Jacket was hysterical,

"THAT WAS NOT ME! THAT WAS A MISTAKE!"

Doom grumbled,

"So is this show."

He got hit with a mallet,

"OW!"

**Silence, Doom. Now, Firebird and Yellow Jacket are going to dance…the Ramba!**

As the two began dancing, the audience and the judges seemed to like it. Just as they were about to finish, however, Jean Grey entered and tackled Firebird,

"You copycat bitch! Die!"

A catfight broke out. Firebird screamed,

"Why are you doing this?"  
Jean Grey yelled,

"I'm the Phoenix! You're an Avengers' wannabe! They based your character off of me! Why do you even have fans anyway?"  
**She doesn't keep dying and coming back to life. **

Farrah nodded,

"She helped Thor with some problems he had."

Tigra added,

"She kept Hank warm for me."

Diablos said,

"She's not a whiny little bitch like you are, Grey."

Everyone turned to Diablos, stunned. Farrah was surprised,

"Wow! I never thought I'd hear my boyfriend bad mouth someone like that. Oh, he and I are so going to make babies later."

She squealed in delight. Jean Grey was stunned,

"HOW DARE YOU! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I AM?"

Diablos shrugged,

"I probably do, but I just don't care."

He telekinetically lifted up Jean and launched her out of the studio. Jean was screaming.

**Diablos, remind me to write you an 'M' rated romance with you and Farrah when this is over.**

Diablos shook her head,

"No thanks. I just can't stand people who think they're better than everyone else."

Farrah kissed Diablos on the forehead,

"I love you, Lance."

**All right, let's get to the judges. What do you think?  
**Loki chuckled,

"I found the performance…amusing. Eight."

Gyrich yelled,

"You're all nuts! A four!"  
He got hit with mallet,

"OW! All right, a seven."

Doom nodded,

"Interesting. An eight as well."

Farrah grinned,

"23 points. You two are in the lead!"

**Good for them. When we return after our commercial break, Wasp and Iron Man will do the Waltz. Let's hope it's Iron Man and not a psycho clone he built.**

Iron Man shouted off camera,

"I heard that!"

Next Chapter:  
Waltzing into a Psych Ward.


	5. Chapter 5

**Dancing Fools**

_Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to DC or Marvel. I own Farrah/Persiana, Leon/Crisis, and Lance/Diablos. Dancing with the Stars is owned by ABC!_

Chapter 5: Capturing the Tony!

The author was talking on the phone,

**You have got to be KIDDING me! Since when? Hey, I don't hear you chasing Fox down for that show So You Think You Can Dance? Next up, you'll be telling me you're gonna copy American Idol. I even thought of a name for you to use; So You Think You Can Sing? **

The author hung up the phone and looked at the camera.

**Lawyers. Anyway, let's get back to the show.**

Farrah entered, carrying large basket with her,

"Is he on next?"  
**Janet and Tony are just about to. **

The author blinked,

**Uh, Farrah? What are you carrying in that basket?**

Farrah removed the cover, revealing a lot of fruit,

"I think the world should hear about all the pain and suffering I had to endure, and this is a little payback."

Diablos groaned,

"This is not happening."

Tigra swallowed nervously,

"I hope she doesn't try to hit me with those. They look rotted."

Falcon nodded,

"Yeah, I don't think tomatoes are supposed to be blue with yellow polka dots."

She-Hulk blinked,

"And I clearly remember never seeing oranges in any other color but orange."

Gyrich ordered,

"Hey, get that rotted fruit out of my face, Farrah!"

He got hit with a rotten tomato and exclaimed girlishly,

"EEEEEEEWWWWWWWW!"

Farrah yelled,

"Shut up, Gyrich! I'm having my moment here!"

Janet entered in exquisite gown and high heels, both in silver color,

"Farrah, aren't you taking the whole dead boyfriend a little too far? I mean, you're dating Lance now, right?"

Farrah scowled,

"Janet, Leon was the first man I ever truly loved. I loved him so much, I wanted babies with him. You don't know what it's like to lose someone that means that much to you.

She started to fake cry.

**Lady Bug, you're a real bitch, ya know that? Look, you made my co-host cry!**

Whirlwind yelled off camera,

"You suck, Waspy! I can't believe I loved you!"

Janet was horrified,

"I am so sorry, Farrah. It's just, I…I know how much Crisis meant to you and I kind of liked him too and-."

Farrah looked up, a murderous glare in her eyes,

"YOU TRIED TO TAKE HIM FROM ME!"

She started throwing rotten fruit at Janet. Janet ran off camera,

"Tony! Help me!"

Farrah was in pursuit, throwing more rotten fruit,

"Yeah, lead me to Tony! That way, you both get what you deserve!"

Gyrich yelled,

"Aren't you going to do anything, Persiana13? This is your show, sad to say."

**You're absolutely right, Gyrich. I should do something. **

The author paused,  
**Now, I know there are certain women out there that have a thing for Wonder Man. **

Vixen called out off camera,

"Like me!"

Zatanna screamed off camera,

"He likes me more!"

Supergirl shouted off camera,

"No, he doesn't! He likes ME!"

Gypsy yelled off camera,

"He likes me!"

**As I was saying, the first lady to tape the impending smack down by my co-host Farrah to Janet and Iron Man gets their very own 'M' rated fiction with Wonder Man. I will try to tone it down, but I will keep it graphic enough to deserve the 'M' rating. **

The sounds of rushing around could be heard, female voices swearing and getting cameras. Diablos said,

"You do realize there is only one camera backstage, right?"  
**There's one camcorder back stage. However…**

The author pressed a button on the remote. A screen lowered, and the back stage area appeared on screen,

**I had a few hidden cameras installed. Hallways, back door, women's showers…**

The author blinked,

**Hey, I didn't put cameras in there.**

Wonder Woman asked from the audience,

"Am I on there?"  
**Diana, do I look like I'm some sort of pervert to you? You're obviously confusing me with Green Arrow, or Flash.**

Tigra said,

"Or Hawkeye."

Diablos contributed his thoughts,

"Or Speedy."

Wonder Girl added,

"Or Hercules."

Hercules groaned,

"Oh, come on! This is not my doing! Why would I need a camera when I can have the real thing?"  
He put his hand around Diana. Wonder Woman yelled,

"Get your hands off me!"

She grabbed Hercules and threw him through the ceiling. She flew after him. Wonder Girl was staring at the screen,

"Wow, Farrah has excellent aim."

Tony was on screen,

"OW! THAT HURT!"

Falcon winced,

"I am so glad I am not Tony right now."

Janet, on screen, was frantic,

"GET HER AWAY FROM ME!"

Tony yelled,

"PERSIANA13, YOU'RE GETTING SUED FOR THIS!"

**I've heard it all before, pal. Well, ladies and gentlemen, due to a technical error in our program, Janet and Tony won't be able to participate tonight. Sad to say, I was rather hoping they would dance.**

Farrah cackled,

"DIE, STARK! YOU'RE GOING TO DIE!"

A chain saw rumbled backstage. The author said,

**Well, at least we get a startling rendition of Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to calm my co-host down. **

The author exited the set. The sounds of catfight could be heard on screen. Zatanna yelled,

"Give me that camera, Gypsy! Simon's mine!"

Vixen scoffed,

"As if! I'm the perfect woman for Simon!"

Gypsy was holding the camera,

" 'M' rated fic, here I come!"

Supergirl yelled,

"Not if I can help it!"

Diablos groaned from the audience,

"How Crisis put up with her, I'll never know."

Next Chapter:  
More Dances, More Insanity


	6. Chapter 6

**Dancing Fools 2 **

_Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to DC or Marvel. I own Farrah/Persiana and Lance/Diablos. Dancing with the Stars is owned by ABC!_

Chapter 6: You want us to dance WHAT?

The author was talking on the phone,

**Now, wait just a minute. Since when is rotten fruit considered a biological weapon? Next you'll be telling me rotten milk contains the secret to anthrax. You know what, just try it! **

The author angrily hung up the phone,

**I can't believe they think I'm some sort of terrorist! **

Gyrich yelled,

"Like you're not! I mean, you're holding all of us hostage here in this insane asylum!"

Loki said,

"I was invited."

Gyrich was frantic,

"Several masked men dragged me out of my bed at three in the morning, in my underwear!"

The author snickered,

**Who knew you had 'My Little Pony' underwear? **

The audience burst into laughter. Gyrich was horrified,

"You swore you would never mention that!"

**You didn't pay me enough to keep those photos out of the press, Gyrich. Now, the whole world knows you're a sissy, whiny, girlie man.**

Farrah smirked,

"More so than you already are."

**All right, now that we got Gyrich torture out of the way, let's go on with the show. Our next couple tonight is Vision and Scarlet Witch. I selected a dance style that had not been done on the previous season, and it's one that is sure to surprise everyone. **

Vision entered, dressed like a rapper,

"Persiana13, I am still unsure as to what I am supposed to do?"

The author rolled his eyes,

**Vision, you just ruined it for me! I was going to say Vision and Wanda are going to be dancing to hip hop. **

Scarlet Witch entered in baggy clothes and sneakers,

"This has to be the most humiliating moment in my life."

Farrah asked,

"Even more so when you used your powers to make babies?"

Falcon said,

"Even more so when you had a nervous breakdown and killed some of the Avengers?"

She-Hulk added,

"Even more so when you tried to sleep with Cap?"

Wanda blinked,

"All right, that last one is a bit higher, but my point is, I don't even know what to do. I know I rehearsed and everything, but I'm not sure."

Vision placed his hand on Wanda's shoulder,

"I believe in you."

**Yeah, yeah, we all get it. Can the mushy stuff and let's go. **

As the two began hip hop style break-dancing, many in the audience were blown away by Wanda's and Vision's control and agility. It looked better than some of the other dancers' performance. The author applauded,

**I'm impressed. And, to think, you two had absolutely no talent whatsoever. **

Scarlet Witch glared,

"It's nice to see we're appreciated."

**I know. Let's go to the judges.**

Loki declared,

"I give...ten!"

Gyrich grumbled,

"You call that dancing!"

He got hit with a mallet and deliriously remarked,

"Ten!"  
Doom said,

"Nine."

Farrah smiled,

"A total of 29 points. You two are in the lead."

Scarlet Witch squealed,

"Yay! Vision, this is amazing! Quick, let's make babies!"

Vision blinked,

"Uh, Wanda, you do remember the last time we tried to, right?"

He got carried off stage by an ecstatic Wanda.

**All right, now, that that's settled; we're going to commercial break, and, when we return, Miss Marvel and Wonder Man will be performing the sexy samba!**

Farrah grinned,

"Oh, this is going to be fun."

She rubbed her hands evilly.

Next Chapter:  
Samba Smash!


	7. Chapter 7

**Dancing Fools 2**

_Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to DC or Marvel. I own Farrah/Persiana and Lance/Diablos. Dancing with the Stars is owned by ABC! _

Chapter 7: Samba Smackdown!

**And, we're back. For our next couple-.**

Vixen entered,

"I'm staging a protest."

**Oh, God. What is it this time?  
**Vixen said,

"I demand you change the next couple to ME dancing with Wonder Man!"  
Gypsy entered,

"Yeah, right, Vixen. I should be the one dancing with Simon! After all, I did get that tape!"

Zatanna entered,

"No, you didn't! I destroyed it! Simon belongs to one woman; ME!"

Vixen shouted,

"Oh, yeah!"

She tackled Zatanna, a cat-fight breaking out. The author rubbed the bridge of his nose,

**I seriously need more coffee if I'm going to tolerate any of this. **

The author grabbed a hose and sprayed the three ladies with water off stage. The fight was still going on.

**I always figured they were all wet. **

Diablos (groaned,

"That is such a bad pun."

He got hit with a mallet,

"OW! Farrah!"

Farrah innocently remarked,

"Why, Diablos? I can't believe you would suspect me."

The mallet was behind her back, obvious to everyone. Tigra shook her head,

"Oh, little sis.

Wonder Man entered in appropriate samba wear,

"Are you sure they won't be bothering me?"

**Trust me, they won't. They'll be too busy killing each other first. Now, let's get on with the Samba! **

Supergirl entered, disguised as Miss Marvel,

"All set!"

The author narrowed his eyes,

**Kara, what are you doing? Are you dressed up as Miss Marvel?  
**Supergirl shook her head, shifting her eyes,

"No."

**Kara, you really have it bad for him, don't you? **

Supergirl groaned,

"Come on. I want his babies. Is that too much to ask?"

Vixen shouted off camera,

"Supergirl's trying to steal my man!"

Gypsy yelled off camera,

"Get her!"

Supergirl screamed,

"No, get away from my man!"

She got tackled, the fight going off camera. The author pulled out a cell phone,

**Yes, it's me. Yes, I need you to pick up some people. You're watching the show, right? Yeah, you know who. Oh, and clean up the mess outside in the parking lot. Catman had another 'accident'. **

The author hung up,

**Hopefully, Miss Marvel can get here and the show can get started again. **

Miss Marvel entered, disheveled,

"Persiana13! You're insane!"

**What else is new? **

The author noticed the state of Miss Marvel's attire,

**Hey, Carol. What happened to you? **

Miss Marvel screamed,

"Those four bitches tied me to my dressing room chair and left me. They ruined my dress!"

Farrah raised her hand,

"That's not the only thing. You also see those black circles on your face?"

Miss Marvel looked in a mirror and saw black circles under her eyes,

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?"  
Farrah smiled,

"I put in permanent marker in your make up kit. You didn't even notice the difference."

She laughed maniacally. Miss Marvel clenched her fists,

"FARRAH! COME HERE AND DIE!"

She tried to go for Farrah, but Wonder Man stopped her. Wonder Man said,

"Carol, you need to calm down. This isn't helping anyone."

**Especially yourselves. You better get dancing now. **

Carol scowled,

"This is not over."

Farrah grinned,

"You're right, it won't be."

As Miss Marvel and Wonder Man performed the Samba, the audience and judges seemed to like what they see. Farrah yawned and walked off stage. When the dance was over, the author said,

**Well, judges; what do you think? **

Farrah re-entered,

"Here's what I think of it!"

She pulled out a cannon, firing a large red sphere at Miss Marvel. The sphere exploded, dousing Miss Marvel in red paint. The audience burst into laughter. Miss Marvel wretched,

"! FARRAH!"

She began chasing Farrah all around the set.

**Well, I expected something like this. **

Loud crashes could be heard backstage, everything from glass shattering to a cow's moo. The author blinked at the cow's moo,

**All right, which one of idiots decided to bring Bessie here again? Remember what I said about bringing livestock into my studio? **

Tigra asked,

"Is that we get to eat it afterwards?"

**Exactly. After the show, we get a huge barbecue. But, first, we have to get through the show. Well? **

Loki laughed,

"The performance was hysterical. Ten!"

Gyrich yelled,

"Forget it! It wasn't worth watching!"  
A glass bottle hit him in the head,

"Nine!"

Doom said,

"I say a nine, only because of the paint joke.

**A total of 28 points. Not bad, not bad at all. Well, folks. When we return, it's a couple that Farrah suggested-.**

Farrah ran by camera,

"HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA!

Miss Marvel ran, still dripping in red paint,

"DIE, YOU FURRY BITCH! I'LL SKIN YOU ALIVE!"

**Assuming my co-host survives that long to see Sersi and Superman doing…the Tango! **

Next Chapter:

The Insanity continues!


	8. Chapter 8

**Dancing Fools **

_Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to DC or Marvel. I own Farrah/Persiana and Lance/Diablos. Dancing with the Stars is owned by ABC!_

Chapter 8: Two to Tango!

Diablos asked,

"Who's on next?"

Wonder Girl answered,

"I think Superman is."

She sighed,

"Does Farrah look hot in that dress or what?"  
Diablos blinked,

"Can I ask you something?"

Wonder Girl: Sure.

Diablos said,

"Are you still dating Speedy?"

Wonder Girl nodded,

"Yes, I am. However, Farrah did say something to me that I finally understand what she meant by it."

Diablos asked,

"Which was?"  
Wonder Girl grinned,

"It is all right to window shop."

Diablos (blinked,

"O-K."

He thought to himself,

_I'm having a long talk with Farrah when this is over. _

**All right, all right, let's get back to the show! Now, our next couple is a real treat for all you fans out there. We saw Superman on the first season and he and Fire literally burnt up the dance floor. Well, he's back, and this time, he's got a new hottie to play with. **

Superman entered in appropriate tango wear,

"I'm being forced to do this!"

**What are you complaining about, Supes? You're dancing with Sersi! Plus, I think she's giving you her number. **

Superman said flatly,

"You do realize I'm married."

**So was Henry VIII and look how many wives he had. **

Farrah asked,

"Didn't he kill most of them?"

**Details, details. I just want to keep going before we get canceled. **

Gyrich grumbled,

"Which shouldn't be too long."

He got hit with bean bag,

"OW! You're getting sued for this, Persiana13!"

**Yeah, I'll call those guys on Boston Legal. Which reminds me; who wants to do a parody on that show when this is over? **

Everyone shouted,

"NO!"

**Just asking. Geez, it's not like I'm gonna forge your signatures on the contract again. **

The author looked away,

**Mental note, remember to hire better forger next time. **

Sersi entered in sexy green gown,

"Hello, Superman."

She grabbed Superman's butt, lustfully gazed at him. Superman was nervous,

"Miss, I'm flattered you're interested in me, but I'm married."

Sersi grinned,

"Cool! A three-way!"

An awkward silence came over the audience. The author cleared his throat,

**You better jump on board, Supes. This is a once in a life-time opportunity! **

Superman glared at the author,

"Do I look like Green Arrow to you?"

Farrah shook her head,

"No, he's not as chiseled as you are."

She licked her lips,

"I do have to admit, Sersi does have good tastes."

**Hey, you and Sersi can lust on your own time, not on my show. Now, let the dancing commence! **

As Sersi and Superman danced, Sersi was constantly grabbing Superman's backside, and rubbing up against him provocatively. Superman was hesitant to truly embrace the dance, but did to the best of his ability. Things were going smoothly when Lois entered and was furious,

"CLARK JOSEPH KENT!"

**Oh, the middle name. That's not good. **

Lois shouted,

"You said you were in a business meeting and couldn't be reached!"

Superman asked,

"How did you find out I was on?"

Lois shouted,

"I tuned in after what that bitch Fire was doing to you! And, here you are, dancing with…"

She looked at Sersi in disgust,

"THIS TRASH!"

Sersi scowled,

"Me? Trash? Look who's talking, Miss I-am-a-career-woman-who-is-so-busy-she-can't-make-love-to-her-husband!"

Lois was furious,

"Die, bitch!"

A cat-fight broke out. Thor declared,

"By the gods! Look at them go!"

Black Panther drooled,

"Wow, this Lois can fight!"

Farrah looked at the author,

"The fire house, boss?"

**First, we get the judges' reaction. Then, we break it up. **

Loki laughed,

"An amusing performance, although Superman was not as into it as I had hoped. A seven."

Gyrich drooled at the cat-fight,

"Ten!"

Doom commented,

"An eight."

Farrah said,

"A total of 25. Very good, Superman."

Superman groaned,

"Can we know break them up? I'm afraid Sersi could hurt my wife."

A loud rip was heard. Sersi, off camera, screeched,

"YOU BITCH! YOU SCALPED ME!"

Lois, off camera, cackled,

"Serves you right for asking to be in a three way!"

Sersi shouted off camera,

"Now, I don't want to! I want him all to my self now!"

The fighting continued.

**Well, that went well. When we return, our final couple of the evening; Hyppolyta and Captain America! **

Gyrich yelled,

"If the FCC is watching this, please cut the power!"

He got sprayed with a fire hose and went through a wall at the other end of the studio.

Next Chapter:

The Best for Last!


	9. Chapter 9

**Dancing Fools 2**

_Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to DC or Marvel. I Own Farrah/Persiana and Lance/Diablos. Dancing with the Stars is owned by ABC! _

Chapter 9: Hippolyta Hotness!

Wonder Woman groaned,

"My mother is dancing next."  
She put her head in her hands,

"This has to be the most humiliating moment in my life."

Diablos asked,

"More so than the time you got banished?"

Wonder Woman looked at Diablos,

"Yes. Gods, what is Persiana13 thinking pairing up my mother with Captain America?"

Tigra shook her head,

"Oh, come on, Diana. Trust me on this; Cap is one of the sweetest, kindest men ever to live."

Farrah said,

"Outside of my boyfriend."

Tigra shrugged,

"Anyway, you don't have to worry, princess. She'll be all right."

Diablos said,

"It could be worse; she could be paired up with the Avengers' Hercules."

He looked around,

"Where is he, anyway?"  
Wonder Woman smiled darkly,

"Last time I checked, somewhere in Egypt."

Farrah rolled her eyes,

"And she says I have issues. You do realize this is the Herc that is my friend and not the one that you know, right?"  
Wonder Woman shot her a look,

"Sister, Hercules copped a feel, after I threw him out of the studio!"

**You're paying for that gaping hole in my studio, princess. But, don't worry; I'll sell that footage of you in the shower. That'll about cover it. **

Wonder Woman was horrified,

"You wouldn't! Please, don't!"

**Promise me you won't criticize what Hippolyta is wearing when she comes out, and I'll think about it. **

Hippolyta entered in the most REVEALING gown ever and smiled,

"I am ready, my Adonis."

The audience was slack-jawed. Wonder Woman was stunned,

"Mother, what are you wearing?"  
Farrah grinned,

"Cool! It's the dress I made for her."

Wonder Woman glared at Farrah,

"I am having a VERY long talk about your sense of fashion when this is over, sister."

Wonder Girl thought to herself,  
_I wonder if Mother will let me have that dress when she is done._

She then giggled. Hippolyta had little hears float around her,

"Adonis, come on. It is time for our performance on stage. If you are good, we can have a performance in my bedroom afterwards."

Wonder Woman was covering her face,

"This is not happening. This is not happening."

Captain America entered in appropriate salsa wear,

"Tell me again why I'm doing this?"

**I wanted two random couples for this show. Hey, an idea just came to me. A Hippolyta and Captain America romance fic. I think the fans would love it! **

Wonder Woman groaned,

"This is not happening. Please tell me this is not happening."

Farrah was enjoying Diana's look on her face,

"Hey, what happened if they got married? Can you imagine the kids?"

Wonder Girl clapped excitedly,

"I always wanted a little sister!"

Wonder Woman screamed hysterically and ran out of studio,

"Hera, kill me now!"

The author blinked,

**I think you broke her. Cool! While they dance, I'm gonna video tape Diana's nervous breakdown! **

The author grabbed a camera and ran out of studio, chasing Wonder Woman. Hippolyta and Cap did the salsa. Every so often, Hippolyta tightened her grip, making Cap wince slightly and trying to handle the situation carefully. It did not help matters that the song choice was 'Let's get Physical'. No one dared to interrupt the dance, for fear of Hippolyta's temper. When the dancing was over, the author re-entered,

**Oh, you cannot believe the look on Diana's face. I've got black mail material for years. **

Farrah looked at the camera,

"Well, anyway, let's go to the judges."

Loki declared,

"A Ten!"

Gyrich shouted,

"Cap! This is all your fault for getting me into this mess!"

He got hit with a mallet,

"TEN!"  
He fell unconscious. Doom was furious,

"You call that dancing?"

He got hit with a mallet,

"TEN!"

He then fell unconscious. Farrah clapped,

"A perfect score! 30 points!"

Hippolyta was ecstatic,

"Finally!"  
She grabbed Cap and rushed back-stage. Cap shouted in protest,

"What are you doing?"

The sound of door slamming behind him could be heard. Hippolyta said off camera,

"Now, for our own little dance!"

Crashing sounds could be heard backstage. The author blinked,

**All right. I think it's safe to say Hippolyta has a thing for Cap. **

Diablos groaned,

"Ya think?"  
He got hit with a mallet,

"OW!"

Next Chapter:  
Yep, the finale! 


	10. Chapter 10

**Dancing Fools 2**

_Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to DC or Marvel. I own Farrah/Persiana and Lance/Diablos._

Chapter 10: The Finale 

**Well, you've seen the talent. **

The author snickered,  
**Or, lack thereof…**

Hawkeye shouted,

"Hey!"

**And you've heard from the judges…**

Gyrich screamed,

"WHEN MY SUPERIORS FIND YOU, YOU'RE DEAD!"

**Sure, pal, sure. Anyway, once the shows over, America, you can start voting. Don't start while we're still on the air. If you do, your vote will count as much as a hanging chad. **

Farrah rolled her eyes,

"Does he have to make that joke every time there's a vote? It's getting old."

**Well, anyway, America. Thank you and good-. **

The power got cut, and the lights went dark,

**Oh, come on! Couldn't they wait five more seconds? **

Gyrich cackled,

"Hah! I knew the FCC would come through for me! The American Government never abandons its most prized officials!"

**Really? **

The author dialed a number. Diablos telepathically called out to everyone but Gyrich,

"_Get out of the building now._"

As everyone did so, including the author, Gyrich was dancing in the dark, seemingly in triumph. Gyrich was overjoyed,

"Hah! The terrorist is dead! Long live me! Long live Gyrich!"

_**Outside…**_

Superman asked,

"Why did you have us all get out?"

Diablos said,

"That number our boss called. Trust me, you're gonna find out."

A helicopter and armored truck came to the studio. Out of the truck, several men armed with guns stormed the building. In moments, they dragged a screaming Gyrich out in hand cuffs. Gyrich was frantic,

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WHAT'S GOING ON?"

The field commander walked up to the author,

"Thanks for the tip. I don't know how we missed this guy."

**Think nothing of it, commander. I'm just here to do my part as a loyal patriot of the United States. **

Gyrich roared,

"YOU IDIOTS! I'M NOT A TERRORIST!"  
One of the men came over. The operative reported in,

"Sir! We found the nuclear weapons in the trailer, sir!

The commander nodded,

"Good work!"

Gyrich yelled,

"Nuclear weapons! Persiana13, you had something to do with this! When I get out, I'm gonna kill you!"  
Everyone got in an armored van and everything left quickly. The author chuckled,

**I hear Gitmo is lovely this time of year. **

Farrah asked,

"Aren't they closing that place down?"

**No, I bought it from them. I'm thinking about opening it again in six months. **

Diablos said,

"I'm almost afraid to ask-."

**Then don't. **

The author walked inside the studio,

**Oh, come on. The equipment's ruined! I won't be able to broadcast for weeks! **

The sounds of cheers could be heard from outside.

**Oh, well. Maybe I can ask for bailout money. I'm sure the Feds can spare a few million. **

_**Outside…**_

Lex ran by, yelling,

"Persiana13! When I'm done eluding ABC's lawyers, you're next!"

Several men and women in suits were carrying torches, axes, and shotguns and chased after Lex.

End of Dancing Fools 2


End file.
